Finding Neverland

So this is a blog post mainly discussing my life after the loss of my son Elliot David Lund. I didn’t want to keep pouring my heart out on my Facebook page or my Instagram, although I want to share Elliot and my feelings about him, I am aware that maybe some people do not want to see them. I am hoping that this blog can help people who are also lost or struggling. If I can help one person feel better then honestly that would mean the world to me.

Throughout the coming weeks I will be posting about a multitude of things, coping with loss, grief, guilt and also pre-eclampsia and my general day to day life as I continue on this journey.  I am fully aware that even now I am not the person I was a month or so ago. Suffering a great deal surely does change a person, not just the loss of a child – any kind of suffering does make you question A LOT of things.

Coming to terms with what has happened has been the hardest thing – I will go into detail of what actually happened on the day of Elliot’s birth in a future post. As soon as I found out I was pregnant – I told my partner and we celebrated with a dominoes – it was a Tuesday and I remember coming home from work and taking a test. We were both so happy – me especially – as being a stepmum, I couldn’t wait for a child of my own. It only actually took us 2 weeks to fall pregnant with Elliot and I actually felt like he was our miracle baby and our lives were complete. I told my parents and they were so excited to be grandparents, they would of made fantastic grandparents. I know that because they are amazing parents. Chris’s parents were equally as happy and I know the loss has been sad for us all.

Nobody expected what happened to us, and at the moment we are all processing our emotions, hopefully writing this will help me gain some clarity.

Thanks for taking the time to read, if I feel strong enough, my next post will be about Elliot’s birth.

 

X